{"id":213,"date":"2017-12-17T16:17:21","date_gmt":"2017-12-17T16:17:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/?p=213"},"modified":"2017-12-17T16:17:21","modified_gmt":"2017-12-17T16:17:21","slug":"arizona-mccutcheon-vacation-day-1-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/2017\/12\/17\/arizona-mccutcheon-vacation-day-1-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Arizona McCutcheon Vacation – Day 1.2"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is currently 8:00 am, Sunday, Arizona time and I think I might have gotten about 3 hours of sleep and not even in a row. \u00a0The boys didn’t seem to enjoy my snoring. \u00a0So although everything has changed one thing has not. \u00a0The McCutcheons totally suck at sharing a hotel room for the following reasons.<\/p>\n

#1 – Beds<\/strong>. \u00a0Fucking Beds. \u00a0The same damn beds that were so lovely and comfortable Friday\/Saturday now become platforms of hell on Saturday\/Sunday. \u00a0You see for many weeks we have all slept in beds alone. \u00a0Well except for me. \u00a0Since adding the puppy to the mix and at the same time Scott going back to work, I have had the master to myself. \u00a0I have been sharing it with all four dogs. \u00a0Two on the end of the King Size bed and one each in a kennel on the sides of the bed. \u00a0It has not been the greatest sleep. \u00a0I don’t sleep well prior to this year and suffering so much loss in one year has not helped. \u00a0But not having to share a King size bed with another human has been such a treat. \u00a0Scott has slept well in Hayley’s room. \u00a0It evidently is peaceful for him and he enjoys having a full size bed on a gorgeous new frame. \u00a0I think his favorite parts are no dogs and no snoring wives. \u00a0Henry has a Queen size bed with his bedding and his sister’s dorm bedding. \u00a0His mattress was too soft so we recently ordered a box spring from Amazon which clearly he and I did not understand what 9″ was. \u00a0Now you can barely see the headboard and he is way up high. \u00a0He loves it.<\/p>\n

Here in a very comfortable Hilton is an entirely different story. \u00a0Friday we arrived in Phoenix at about midnight local time. \u00a0My brother, Kevin, was with us to escort us on buddy passes and spend a little time together. \u00a0We rallied and went to Top Golf from 1 am – 2 am. \u00a0I drove a huge Tahoe after getting uphold at Alamo. \u00a0After a fabulous hour at such a fun place we checked into two rooms which we again could afford thanks to my wonderful friend discount and we all fell into our very own Queen size beds. \u00a0Showered and cozy in my own bed I didn’t even have to try to wear my awful cpap machine because my other half of 27 years was on his back, using my neck travel pillow as an eye mask, sound asleep and snoring his heart out. \u00a0I made so much noise moving around the room and he didn’t budge the entire night. \u00a0The next thing I knew it was 11:30 a.m.!!!!! \u00a0What? \u00a0 I cannot remember sleeping that many hours in a row and all of us at the same time. \u00a0Kevin had left around 8 to fly home and Henry was sound asleep when I called him at noon to say he needed to check out of that room and come to ours.<\/p>\n

So night 1.1 (really our first day started Friday night and into Saturday) was a little piece of Hilton heaven. \u00a0Night 1.2? \u00a0Tower of Terror ride. \u00a0I dreamt of Hayley and her absence is so obvious. \u00a0We let Henry have his own bed because he pulled a muscle in his back after another 3 hours at Top golf. \u00a0His point was well you two our married you should share a bed. \u00a0I said the beds should be marked by gender. \u00a0Scott was asleep again quickly (vacation beer). \u00a0Henry and I were watching Star Wars movies while I wrote in this journal. \u00a0I cannot tell you how many times in the past 8 hours these two assholes woke me up to inform me that my snoring was really bad. \u00a0Add that I was trying to sleep in a about a 12-18 inch space that was sloped towards my side, well back to my norm. \u00a0The irony was after Scott would wake me to tell me I had woke him he fell back to sleep, snoring. \u00a0Waking me did nothing but make me more tired, cranky and uncomfortable. \u00a0When that happens I snore louder. \u00a0Beds big fail. \u00a0I don’t care who sleeps on the pull out sofa in Sedona tonight but I guarantee it won’t be me and I will have my own bed.<\/p>\n

#2 – Food –\u00a0<\/strong>We really have not had a set meal schedule since we lost Hayley. \u00a0Even prior to that we struggled with this. \u00a0All of us had such different work and school schedules. \u00a0But when you are 46 going on 47, overweight, and not sleeping well, room service at 10:00 pm is probably not the smartest idea. \u00a0But Henry was hungry and I might as well add a burger for me. \u00a0HUGE mistake. \u00a0I am not sure why it is called heart burn, this pain was no where near my actual heart. \u00a0I am going to have to hydrate and try to have some self control today.<\/p>\n

#3 – Hayley<\/strong> – Her absence is profoundly real in this hotel room. \u00a0At home the mind can trick your grief into giving you a break. \u00a0She is just at College. \u00a0She is at work or out with her friends. \u00a0Here she was missing in the 4th chair at top pot. \u00a0One less kid to consider when choosing where to eat. \u00a0We stopped at a Target (I kind of do this in any new state I visit). \u00a0Henry and I spent 30 minutes trying to pick family games to buy to play in Sedona. \u00a0Do you know how many games there are that need 3 players exactly? \u00a0Do you know how many say 4 players or more? \u00a0It was painful, I cried in the lego aisle and Henry didn’t even get mad about it. \u00a0If Hayley were here, the bed argument would be easier as no one would get his own bed. \u00a0I really really miss her right now.<\/p>\n

Saturday at 1 am Kevin introduced us to Top Golf. \u00a0It reminded me of Lucky Strike bowling but golf. \u00a0It is a huge three story driving range where you can play different games attempting to hit your ball into targets. \u00a0It is high tech and so much fun. \u00a0Henry really loved it. \u00a0Henry had a few lessons one summer back around the 1st grade. \u00a0Scott would over the years take the kids to the Mt Si driving range. \u00a0Both were naturals. \u00a0It has probably been 5 -7 years since they last did that. \u00a0Henry was doing so great! \u00a0\"\"He wasn’t perfect but he kept it in what would be the fairway most of the time. \u00a0I was so excited to see him basking in the praise of his Dad and Uncle. \u00a0He smiled a lot. \u00a0Not once did he complain about being on vacation. \u00a0Thank you Top Golf!<\/p>\n

My brother shared some pictures on Facebook. Several friends asked if I had the donuts. \u00a0I said no but that we were going back that day for more golf and I would certainly enjoy trying donut holes you inject with cream. \u00a0\"\"One friend reached out. \u00a0She happened to contract for the CEO of Top Golf. \u00a0Again, what a small world. \u00a0We don’t even have one in Washington (yet). \u00a0She told him our story and asked what time we were going back. \u00a0She told me to ask for Kirk. \u00a0I was thinking we would get to have a “bay” (like a lane in bowling) in a prime location. \u00a0Well yes that did happen when Kirk greeted us. \u00a0But we also met several other managers. \u00a0The place was incredibly busy with corporate and large group holiday parties. \u00a0As a business major I was drooling at all that was running so smoothly around me. \u00a0We were escorted to a prime location up on the top deck. \u00a0My friend had told me we would be comped. \u00a0First not sure I have ever used the word comped in a sentence and I am thinking woo hoo a free hour of golf. \u00a0It was more like “how long would you like to play?”; swipe of his magic card and the three of us started our “family” vacation. \u00a0We had the best server, Nya. \u00a0Like seriously I wanted to take this girl home with me and adopt her. \u00a0We talked and laughed. \u00a0I told her about Hayley. \u00a0Management obviously knew our story and were interested in chatting with us whenever they could stop by our bay. \u00a0Nya informed me that we were VIPs. \u00a0Henry thought this was pretty cool and I raised a “thank you so much” to my friend towards the NW skies. \u00a0One manager asked me are you upper managers or directors. \u00a0I wish, remember still need job. \u00a0No, I explained we were just a family of four that was now a family of three that were lucky despite their tragedy to know really amazing people. \u00a0These people saw we were coming and decided to make sure we had fun.<\/p>\n

Not only did they not charge us for golf, they comped (like this word) our food and Scott’s pitcher of beer. \u00a0This was beyond what I was expecting. \u00a0Those donuts were amazing by the way. \u00a0We hugged our new friend Nya and by total coincidence she is heading to Sedona today to do some hiking and we hope we see her on the trails. \u00a0I even beat Henry in one of the games! \u00a0\"\"<\/p>\n

It was truly extraordinary to see a company in action that clearly was and will continue to be a success. \u00a0The place was packed. \u00a0There were so many employees and it seemed that they all really enjoyed their jobs. \u00a0Nya told me about what she liked best about Top Golf. \u00a0It was clear that from the top down people, both employees and customers were what Top Golf was all about. \u00a0In a world where I have experienced the opposite this year and had my faith shaken because of it, this was so satisfying. \u00a0I still cried in the bathroom. \u00a0I was glad when another table needed our fourth empty chair. \u00a0I thought about how much fun Hayley would be having. \u00a0The girl could whack a golf ball. \u00a0I watched Henry play for 3 solid hours. \u00a0(equals pulled muscle in back, video gaming doesn’t quite work the core) \u00a0Scott was relaxed. \u00a0The temperature was perfect and just being outside felt great. \u00a0I felt a little like a yo yo. \u00a0Up, fun, smiling, donuts, \"\"
\na happy teen boy. \u00a0Down, I miss my beautiful girl, I don’t want to be a VIP, I want Hayley.<\/p>\n

Time for a shower and a trip to the local mall for trail shoes. \u00a0In my frenzied packing I could not find my hiking boots, although they would not fit in any of our carry ons (stand by flying). \u00a0We are then heading to Sedona until Wednesday. \u00a0I have been told by multiple people that it is one of the most naturally beautiful places and that it is spiritual and peaceful. \u00a0Not sure this will be Henry’s favorite part. \u00a0I can only wish on a thousand stars that I find some peace even for a few moments. \u00a0I really feel like it will go two ways. \u00a0I will find my center even if only temporary or the quiet will let the grief and pain flood my soul. \u00a0For several weeks I have felt like the leash I have on the grief I call the beast has started to fray. \u00a0I am fearful of what the break will look like.<\/p>\n

Thank you for reading.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Travel journal, Sunday Morning. \u00a0 —- Dawn<\/p>\n

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Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away? — Clark<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is currently 8:00 am, Sunday, Arizona time and I think I might have gotten about 3 hours of sleep and not even in a row. \u00a0The boys didn’t seem to enjoy my snoring. \u00a0So although everything has changed one thing has not. \u00a0The McCutcheons totally suck at sharing a hotel room for the following … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Arizona McCutcheon Vacation – Day 1.2”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=213"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":219,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions\/219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hayleysmom.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}